|
CHAPTER 3: LonelyPregnantGirl
 By Jim Caple |
Previously at 24 College Avenue: Jenn Robbins loved her role as State College’s
Red Devil mascot until she learned she was pregnant and housemate Kenan Hill, a
star linebacker for the football team, was the father. When she told her parents,
they forced her to leave 24 College Avenue and move back home. The school also
removed her as mascot . . .
“You should be ashamed of yourself! But a @#&$ slut like you obviosly don’t have
any shame, otherwisse you would not expose your fat, UGLY body on a trashy porn
sight. It sickens me that someone like u might make $$$ off this sick pornography.
Pregnant and unmarried and yet your celebratting your life-style as if U should be
envied insted of pitied. Your parnts must be realy proud. Arent you at all
concerned what lessons your teaching for our children? Your everythng wrong with
this cuntry. I hope u have a miss-carriage . . .”
The email went on for much longer but Jenn hit the delete key without reading
further. What could possess a person to write such a thing? What kind of
horrible, bitter life must they have to not only write such things but to wish a
miscarriage on a woman? And the thing was, this email wasn’t out of the ordinary.
She got at least a half dozen a day that were just as cruel and crude or even
worse. Jenn had learned to ignore them for the most part but occasionally she was
unable to stop herself from reading – it was like staring at an accident on the
side of the road.
Such letters, mercifully, were but a small minority of the vast email she received
each day and most were highly supportive. Many offered comforting words, some even
offered money. And a remarkable few offered more.
“Why be lonely? Fat pregnant chicks TURN ME ON!’’
Jenn shook her head and pressed the delete key again. Thanks to her website, the
entire world might be learning about her most private details but she was
convinced she was learning even more about everyone else.
We live in a world that is both coldly impersonal and increasingly
celebrity-driven, which is the appeal MyWeb.com holds for its multitude of users.
They display their private lives and reveal their most personal feelings on MyWeb
out of a profound desire to be noticed, to have their existence matter to others
somehow. “Look at me!’’ they scream. “Look at ME!!! I matter!’’ But it wasn’t that
way with Jenn. She started her LonelyPregnantGirl postings simply out of sheer
boredom. Forced to move back home with her parents, she was convinced she was
going to go crazy. She knew her parents loved her and meant well but that didn’t
mean they understood what she was going through. To drop out of school and move
away from her friends was one thing, but to give up her role as Bubby the Red
Devil? She couldn’t even bear to watch State College play on TV out of fear she
would see one of her three lame replacements. When Jenn was Bubby (short for
Beelzebub), she poured everything into her routines – acrobatics, springboards, fiery explosives. The only thing the new
Devils did was stand by the cheerleaders and raise their pitchforks. It was
embarrassing.
Cut off from the Red Devils, cut off from her friends, cut off from her life, Jenn
felt as if she had been marooned on a deserted island. To protect her sanity, she
decided to document her pregnancy each day on MyWeb. It was either that or start
talking to a Wilson volleyball.
So everyday, Jenn took a photo of herself posed like Demi Moore on the cover of
Vanity Fair, recording just that little additional growth in her body, and then
posted it on her blog. She also briefly described her emotions each day, usually
how she missed her friends who never called or visited anymore, or about how her
parents were utterly clueless. She also discussed her conflicting emotions.
“Aug. 12: Yesterday was terrible. Probably worst day since I found out. I thought
it would get better and sometimes it does but then I go right back to feeling
soooooo bad. I’m not gonna lie to you, I sometimes wish I hadn’t decided to keep
the baby. . . . Maybe Mom’s right, maybe I should give him up for adoption . ..
’’
“August 27: I JUST GOT BACK FORM THE OBGYN AND I’M GONNA HAVE A BOY!!! I’M SOOOO
EXCITED!!! I’M GONNA HAVE A FUTURE RED DEVIL ALL-AMERICAN!!!! I GOTTA GO – MOM AND
I ARE GOING TO CELEBRATE WITH A LUNCH AT THE BEST RESTAURANT IN TOWN!!! I DIDN’T
REALIZE SHE UNDERSTOOD EVERYTHING SO WELL!!! OH YEAH -- CHECK OUT THE ULTRA-SOUND
AND BE SURE TO SEND IN SUGGESTIONS FOR A NAME!!!! JUST SO LONG AS IT ISN’T
JUNIOR!!!’’
“Oct. 1: I broke down crying again today. I was at the DMV to get a new license
and I started crying just because my picture looked crappy because I’m getting so
damn fat! And I couldn’t stop bawlin’! Everyone was staring at me which just made
it worse . . . God, I just want my life back!!!’’
Everyone knew just about everything about LonelyPregnantGirl except who she was
and where she lived. She always cropped the day’s photo at the neck so no one knew
what she looked like. No one knew her name, either. She was simply
LonelyPregnantGirl.
Jenn hadn’t meant to be mysterious – she just wanted to hide her identity so her
parents wouldn’t find out and blow a gasket. She had been documenting her
pregnancy for a month before anyone noticed. She had been getting a couple hits a
week and then one day she mentioned that the father was a famous athlete. This
news attracted immediate attention and within a month, she was getting 200,000
hits a day. She had even able to sell ad space in the past month.
It was both the daily progress of her pregnancy and the mystery that drove the
traffic to her site. Everyone wanted to know the identity of LonelyPregnantGirl
and who the father of her child was. And from that speculation grew another group
of readers who questioned whether LonelyPregnantGirl was really pregnant. Maybe
she was only getting fat. Others wondered whether she was really all that lonely,
or merely a C-list actress being paid by a movie studio to generate buzz about
some upcoming movie.
As if, Jenn thought as she called up another email.
“Let me make you an honest woman -- Marry me, LonelyPregnantGirl! I LUV U!!!!’’
Not even her old housemates realized the real identity of LPG. Hell, they barely
even cared that their old friend Jenn was pregnant. Granted, they had their own
concerns but was a phone call every now and then too much to ask? Cheryl Bellamy
hadn’t spoken to her since Jenn revealed that her old boyfriend, Kenan, was the
father. Jenn expected that Cheryl wouldn’t be happy but her extreme reaction – she
moved out of the house immediately – was perplexing. Kenan and Jenn had only made
love once, back in March when both felt vulnerable and alone amid the
steroid/Blood and Muscle scandal. Plus, it wasn’t as if Cheryl and Kenan had even
been going out at the time. So why did Cheryl hold it against her?
Kenan, meanwhile, had said all the required things. That he would help pay the
child support expenses and try to be part of its life. If he made it to the NFL,
the child would want for nothing. There was no talk of marriage, which Jenn
neither expected nor desired. Kenan and she were merely housemates, good friends
perhaps, but nothing more. They had shared one night together when both needed
human contact. Each realized it was foolish to look for anything more. But it
would be nice if he called her every once in awhile instead of making Jenn phone
him every time there was something new to discuss about the baby.
Oh well, Jenn thought. He is pretty busy with football and she did want him to do
well. Maybe he would be different after the season.
She read another email.
“I pray for you every morning LonelyPregnantGirl and that your child is healthy.
May he or she live a full, happy life and may you both feel Christ’s love.’’
Having had no idea how big her site would become, Jenn also had no idea how it
would end. Would she actually show her labor as so many requested with some sort
of stirrupcam? Would she simply shut the page down once her child was born? Or
would she continue to document the child’s growth in a real life version of “The
Truman Show”?
Jenn continued scrolling through the email – she received hundreds a day – her
eyes glossing over most of it until she noticed something striking. There was an
email addressed to “I’m sorry Jenn’’ in the subject field instead of just
“LonelyPregnantGirl.’’ She clicked on it and began reading.
“I just want to say that I am so sorry for the way I reacted when you told me
about Kenan and the baby. I had no right to behave that way. It’s just that it hit
me out of the blue and I don’t know, I kind of blew up. I wasn’t a very good
friend but I want to make up for that. Let’s get together for lunch this week. And
are you going to Josh’s Halloween party? CALL ME!!!! Your friend (even when I
behave like a total bitch) – Cheryl. P.S. I’m sorry!’’
Jenn smiled for the first time all day as she reached for her cell phone. And she
couldn’t help chuckling when she heard her mother knock at the bedroom door.
“Just checking to see if you’re all right, Jenn. What do you do in that room by
yourself all day? It’s not healthy, dear. You know you can always talk to me. It’s
not good to keep your emotions all bottled up to yourself. You need to share your
feelings.’’
Next: Condemned
|
|
|
