Chapter 21: Smile, You’re on Government Camera
By Jim Caple
Previously at 24 College Avenue: Paul Fairhaven is a film student at State College with a very particular way of communicating. He moved into the house shortly before the San Marco Brawlin’ Italians football riot that caused a fire on campus and burned Josh Williams’ room. That riot also sparked a massive university investigation to find who caused the fire by throwing a tear gas canister into a police car. . . .

Paul Fairhaven was four years old when he quoted a movie for the first time. His father was leaving on yet another business trip that the company “insisted he take’’ and when his mother reminded him he damn well better call her each night this time, Paul tugged on his dad’s Dockers and said, “ET phone home.’’ (1) Well, his parents just LOVED that. His dad laughed so hard he had to sit down while his mother hugged him and kissed him and praised him until even little four-year-old Paul was embarrassed. Still, he loved the attention and the way his parents laughed with each other, so he continued reciting lines whenever the occasion fit. His parents were movie buffs – movies were about the only thing they ever agreed on – and they never failed to appreciate his timely quotes. Well, almost ever.

He once ended a bitter argument between his parents by making them laugh with the famous line: “Gentlemen, you can’t fight here. This is the war room.’’ (2) His mother gave him extra dessert the night she was blasting his dad for coming home late for their anniversary dinner with lipstick on his collar and Paul said, “You’re not too smart, are you? I like that in a man.’’ (3) His dad always laughed when, as his mom debated and fretted over what to order at a restaurant, Paul would say, “Leave the gun, take the cannoli.’’ (4) His father was less thrilled however, the time he was spanking Paul for taping “Goodfellas’’ over their wedding video and Fairhaven shouted, “Get your stinking hands off me you damn dirty ape!’’ (5)

As Paul grew older, the quotes became more frequent and elaborate until eventually he would only speak in quotes. The way he saw it, there was always a quote for every occasion, it was just a matter of seeing enough movies. And because, just like Marty Feldman in “The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes’ Smarter Brother,’’ he was blessed with photographic hearing, he only had to see a movie once to have the entire script memorized. As for original thought and words? Well, it seemed as if his parents only hurt each other when they spoke their own bitter lines. The only time they ever really got along together was when they were sitting in a theater watching a movie, listening to a screenwriter’s words and not speaking to each other.

Those days and nights at the movies were the best, most memorable moments in Paul’s childhood. He loved everything about movies – the acting, the scripts, the cinematography – but what he liked most was the happiness and peace they brought to an otherwise bickering family. It was only natural, then, that he majored in film at State College and planned to be a director.

The problem was EVERYONE wants to be a director these days and with the rise of all the on-line video sites, everyone also already fancies himself a director, even if their “movie’’ consists of nothing more than a jittery video of a student singing into a webcam. Fairhaven’s aims were loftier; he aspired to art with films in the tradition of Truffaut, Welles and Ford. He had the talent. He had the vision. What he needed was the backing.

That backing came out of the blue from an unexpected source. A couple weeks after he submitted his film about the fire at 24 College Avenue, “Backdraft II: Backerdraft,’’ as his final project in his documentary class, Professor Ken Moore contacted him and asked whether he would be interested in expanding the film for his own lass. Moore taught a controversial class on government surveillance and he said he wanted Fairhaven to help him with a special project.

“I can offer you the funding but that’s not the main thing,’’ Moore said. “I can also offer you an unprecedented number of official and ‘unofficial’ video sources for the movie.”

The offer was no idle boast. After Fairhaven agreed to help, he quickly found himself overwhelmed with material. It seemed to him that everything we do was on video somewhere. Stroll across campus? The school’s security cameras – installed a decade earlier to capture every inch of campus after a rash of rapes – taped every step. Walk down University Avenue? The traffic cameras saw you. Walk into the State College bookstore? The stores security cameras not only saw you, the guy running them zoomed in when you sorted through the copies of Playboy and Maxim. Walk into the Java Monkey coffee shop for a cup or Pizza Slut for a slice? Not only were there the stores security cameras, chances are some other students caught you with their camera phones.

That was just the start of it, too. Every email you ever sent? Captured in the government records. Every website you ever visited, every Google search you ever entered, they all were buried in a computer system somewhere.

And somehow, Moore provided Fairhaven with all of it. The videos, the websites, the searches . . . EVERYTHING the students being examined did was recorded and presented to Fairhaven. All he had to do was edit it into a presentable form.

“You see, Paul,’’ Moore said, “what I’m trying to do here is show the world how the government has trampled our right to privacy How every move we make during the day, every thought we have, is recorded by the government. And it’s not even a secret. Most of the cameras are out in the open. We see them all the time. We think they’re there to keep us safer or ease traffic or reduce shoplifting. But they’re not. They’re there to track us. And I want people to know.’’

Was Fairhaven a spy, a sneak? He felt that way at times, especially when noting what porn sites the students visited, but Moore convinced him that it was a necessary part of the fight to return privacy to Americans. “Ever since those buildings collapsed, the government has steadily been eroding our freedoms under the guise of fighting terrorism. It’s all bull----, Paul. And we’re going to prove it.’’

“A good conspiracy is unprovable,’’ Paul said. “I mean, if you can prove it, it means they screwed up somewhere along the line.’’ (6)

“Well, we’re going to prove this one.’’

So, Paul shelved his idea for filming a shot-by-shot recreation of “Lawrence of Arabia’’ on the State College campus and instead poured his heart into Moore’s project. He edited through hundreds of hours of the tape provided by the professor, mixing it in with his own video, along with music and film clips until he had two hours of what he felt certain was pure brilliance. Perhaps it would earn an Oscar nomination, or better yet, a call from the Weinstein brothers. At worse, he felt certain it would earn him enough special credits from Moore to graduate within the year. “Reality Show’’ was Fairhaven’s tentative title for the documentary, and slipping the blank DVD into his laptop’s disk drive and clicking “burn,’’ he whispered, “Cue the sun.’’ (7)

When Moore watched the opening segment, he clapped his hands and bowed his head toward Fairhaven. “Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. This may be the best opening 10 minutes to a movie since ‘Raiders of the Lost Ark.’ And that shot of the President wearing a crimson robe and the skull headpiece – it really, really looks like him. How did you it?’’

“If God could do the tricks that we can do he'd be a happy man.’’ (8)

Moore stood up and shook Fairhaven’s hand. “I’m sure he would. I’m sure he would. But now I’m afraid I have to apologize. I’m sorry but I’m late for a meeting and must rush off. But terrific work and thank you. Rest assured that you will receive sufficient independent study credits to will justify your artistry.’’

“I have always depended on the kindness of strangers,’’ Fairhaven said as he stepped out the door. (9)

When he was certain Fairhaven was down the hall and out of earshot, Moore picked up his phone and dialed.

“Hello?’’ Moore said. “He just brought in the DVD. Yes, it looks like it’s exactly what we had in mind. . . No, he doesn’t suspect a thing. I assure you, he’s too lost in his own world to realize what we’re doing.’’

Next: “What Happened to Katie’’

Here are the movies Paul Fairhaven referenced in this chapter:

(1) E.T. in “E.T.’’
(2) President Merkin Muffley in “Dr. Strangelove’’
(3) Mandy Walker in “Body Heat’’
(4) Clemenza in “The Godfather’’
(5) Astronaut George Taylor in “Planet of the Apes’’
(6) Jerry Fletcher in “Conspiracy Theory’’
(7) Christoff in “The Truman Show’’
(8) Eli Cross in “The Stunt Man’’
(9) Blanche DuBois in “A Streetcar Named Desire’’  
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