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Chapter 20: Spring Football
 By Jim Caple |
Previously at 24 College Avenue: Red Kodyak is the Red Devils legendary but aging football coach who has begun having recurring flashbacks to his youth in Yugoslavia during WWII. He barely kept his job last spring after a steroid scandal. 24 College alumnus Kenan Hill was cleared of his role in the scandal when it was discovered that the performance enhancer he thought he was taking was just a placebo. After getting Red Devils mascot Jenn Robbins pregnant the one night they slept together, Kenan moved out of the house and into an apartment. Walk-on quarterback Gig Harbor has taken took over Kenan’s old room in the house. Cheerleader Mandy Stevenson also moved into the house and had a fling with basketball coach Jimmy Medici. Bonzi Bangor, a trumpet player, has a huge crush on Mandy . . .
Red Kodyak usually enjoyed the spring football game. For one thing, it meant the always trying spring season was over and he was free to relax for a couple months, or as much as a head coach at a major program could relax. For another, he liked watching the game from the pressbox while watching his offensive and defensive coordinators call plays from each sideline.
But this year’s game was not enjoyable for several reasons. For one thing, spring had yet to arrive at State College. Winter, late in showing up, was slower to depart, dumping a foot of unexpected snow on the campus the Wednesday before the game followed by three days of heavy rain, sleet and flooded streets. The annual spring game normally attracted a nearly full house but all but the hardiest and most passionate of fans braved the miserably cold rain this time.
Those “most passionate of fans’’ were another reason behind Kodyak’s lack of enthusiasm. After taking the Red Devils to the national championship game in the X-Treme Bowl but losing had failed to satisfy them, the coach decided that his critics were right: Times had indeed changed and if only winning the national championship would satisfy the fans, then these were fans for whom he no longer wanted to win.
He blamed this on the X–Treme Bowl ranking system which paired two teams for the national championship game through a combination of sportswriter and coaching polls plus a complicated computer analysis that assessed strength of schedule, point differential, All-America awards, weight of the offensive line, TV market size, alumni demographics and disposable income, highway mileage from campus to the bowl and cleavage of the cheerleaders. Kodyak hated the system. In the old days, teams and fans could be happy by just winning their conference and qualifying for a New Year’s Bowl, or even coming close to a conference title and earning an invitation to a somewhat lesser bowl. No longer. Now, only reaching and winning the X-Treme Bowl was good enough, which meant every team but one finished the season disappointed. It was a terrible development that led to increasingly unhealthy pressure on winning and obscene expenditures on facilities. The University of San Marco – Kodyak was still bitter about State College’s early season loss to the Brawlin’ Italians on several suspicious referee calls in the final minutes – added plasma screen TVs, iPods and black Corinthian leather recliners at each locker along with individual equipment service for each player by a “concierge’’ staff of beautiful co-eds. They also had blue-tooth connections in their helmets, which were dusted with real gold before ach practice. San Marco also was renovating its famed stadium by installing a $750 million convertible roof and convertible turf system that would allow the Brawlin’ Italians to play inside or outside or on grass or artificial turf depending on their opponents’ tendencies. San Marco didn’t even have to pay for the renovation with university funds because the city had agreed to finance it with a three percent sales tax after the school threatened to move its campus to another state.
And to think, when Kodyak won his first national championship at State College, the players hung their clothes on nails in the locker room and had to wash their own uniforms.
Which is why he decided to surrender to the boosters and retire after the following season. Kodyak had been hanging on for years, trying to go out after winning one last championship, but when State College lost the X-Treme Bowl 43-42 in overtime and the boosters announced they were taking away the complimentary cars for his coaching staff, he decided he would retire after the following season, no matter what.
The team looked promising – walk-on Gig Harbor had played so well that Kodyak offered him a full scholarship and made him the first-string quarterback but the coach spent the entire spring in a funk. Not even the suspension of his rival, basketball coach Jimmy Medici, lifted his spirits much. Kodyak realized that even if the rumors were true, the boosters would pressure the poor cheerleader to either have an abortion or move away and quietly have the baby somewhere far from the media’s microscope.
And worst of all was this latest business with Kenan Hill . . .
# # #
Bonzi played his trumpet without enthusiasm. He was wet, cold, miserable and he hated playing “Birdland.’’ Why couldn’t the band play a song that had been popular within the last 25 years, let alone the last decade? Worst of all, the woman of his life, the woman he had pined over for more than a year, either had no idea of his feelings or didn’t care. Not only that, Mandy was pregnant, knocked up by that bastard basketball coach.
He stole a glance over at Mandy who was dancing with the rest of the Red Devil Hotties at midfield. Even in a rain slicker, she was an absolute stunner.
When the band left the field after their halftime performance, Bonzi hurried over to Mandy under the north grandstand. “Mandy,’’ he whispered into her ear,
I don’t think you should be out here in your condition.’’
“What condition?’’ she asked, reaching for a towel from her equipment bag.
“You know,’’ Bonzi said. “Your pregnancy.’’
“Oh, that,’’ Mandy replied. She dried her face and ran the towel through her hair. “Didn’t I tell you? I’m not pregnant. I had my period last week. I guess I misread the instructions on the home pregnancy test. I thought they said that if the strip DIDN’T turn blue, you were preggers. ’
Bonzi felt as relieved as Mandy must. “That’s great!’’ he said “I mean, if you think it’s great. I mean, if you didn’t want to be pregnant.’
“Like, duh. I’m 22. Why would I want to be pregnant?’’
“How did Medici take the news?’’
Mandy tossed the towel on the ground and pulled on a pair of rain pants.
“Oh, I haven’t told him yet,’’ she said. “He was so mean when I told him I was pregnant that I want him to squirm a little more. He goes on and on about how it was going to affect HIM if the media found out. He never even asked how I felt. He just goes, ‘I’m going to do the right thing by you,’ and I’m like, ‘Ewwww, I don’t want to marry you—you’ve got daughters practically as old as me and that would be just TOO weird.’ And he goes, ‘I don’t want to marry you, either – I just want to pay for the abortion.’ As if!’’
“So how long before you tell him?’’
She shook her hair and pulled out a makeup mirror.
“I don’t know – it would be so cool if he got worried enough that he confessed the whole thing to his wife. She is such a total bitch. And like, the other day I found an envelope with $1,000 in it in my equipment bag. You think they’ll give me more money if I wait some more before telling?’’
“I guess. Maybe. Couldn’t hurt trying.’
Mandy took out her eyeliner and began applying it. “That’s what I think.’’
Bonzi felt happier than he had in weeks. Mandy not only wasn’t pregnant, she was pissed off enough at Medici that she wanted him to suffer.
“And here’s the best part,’’ Mandy said. “He text-messaged me before the game. He wants to hook up again! Can you believe that? He goes, ‘Can’t hurt now with you already pregnant.’ Isn’t that too funny?’’
Yeah, Bonzi thought. A laugh riot.
“So did you tell him to get lost?’’
“No, silly,’’ Mandy said. “But this time I’m going to make sure I’ve taken my birth control pills.’’
Bonzi felt sick to his stomach.
# # #
Gig Harbor completed 15 of 21 passes for 210 yards and two touchdowns but the Crimson team beat the Gray team 24-20 when Kenan batted away a pass on fourth and seven from the 12-yard line to end the game.
“Great game, Kenan!’’ Jenn shouted when he trotted off the field. He winked back and walked over to giver her a hug, nearly impaling himself on the trident of her Red Devil costume.
The two hadn’t really talked about Jenn losing the baby, both preferring to avoid any painful emotions. Kenan certainly didn’t want to admit to Jenn that he was secretly relieved. The whole prospect of being a father had scared him so much that he vowed not to have sex again unless he was in a relationship serious enough that he wouldn’t mind marrying the girl.
Instead of worrying about girls, he threw himself into football and his studies. All that work paid off. He raised his GPA to 3.2 and was voted one of the four team captains for the coming year. The first perk of captaincy was getting his own room when the team stayed at a hotel off campus the night before the spring game.
“Kenan – over here please.’’
It was Kodyak, who was standing inside the stadium tunnel next to two security officers and frowning for some reason. Maybe it was the rain.
“Wassup, Coach?’’
“Kenan, there is problem, but do not worry.’’
“What do you mean?’’
“You must go with police. Is nothing to worry about, I am sure. A mere formality. I will have you out in no time.’’
The words took Kodyak suddenly back to his youth in Yugoslavia, when the SS troops came for his brother and he said it was nothing, that he would be interviewed and released quickly. “A mere formality,’’ he told him. I’ll be back for dinner.’’ He never saw his brother again.
“What’s going on here, Coach?’’ Kenan asked as an officer grabbed him by the elbow.
“No!’’ Kodyak said, reverting to his youth. “I will not let the SS take you, too!’’ The coach grabbed the officer and leaped on his back. Or tried to leap on his back. He was so old he managed only to wrap his arms around the officers waist and slide to his knees. Fortunately, the officer was an enthusiastic Red Devils fan and patiently peeled away the coach’s grip and helped him back to his feet. When Kodyak started rushing him again, the other officer grabbed him and pinned his arms behind his back.
“We know this is difficult, Coach, but you’ll have to calm down. We need to arrest this player.’’
“Arrest me?’’ Kenan said. “Arrest me for what?’’
“Rape. A young woman says you invited her back to your room and assaulted her.’’
“What the @#$%!’’ Kenan shouted. “That’s not true! I didn’t do anything! You gotta believe me – I’m innocent!’’
“Tell it to your lawyer,’’ the first officer said.
As the two officers escorted Kenan from the stadium, they could hear Kodyak screaming at them in Croatian.
Next: “Smile, You’re On Government Cameras’’
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