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Chapter 12: College World
 By Jim Caple |
Previously at 24 College Avenue: Steve Hamilton, photographer for the State College
student newspaper was jailed when his editor would not let him give police
investigators a memory card of photos he took of a school riot that caused $10
million in damage (Chapters 5 and 7). . . .
A buzz of conversations filled the courthouse briefing room as reporters milled
about for the press conference to begin and photographers jockeyed for position in
front of the lectern. A camera crew from one of the local stations almost pushed
Steve down fighting for a spot in the front. Another crew bumped his head with a TV
camera. When he felt a tap on his shoulder, he turned around quickly, fists ready
for a fight.
“Whoah, calm down big guy – I didn’t realize jail had toughened you up so much.’’
It was L.F. Park, the award-winning photographer for the Journal-American and
Steve’s personal hero. He was dressed in his customary black turtleneck and slacks.
Park’s work is what inspired Steve to ditch an education degree and pursue
photojournalism. “Hey, dude. Sorry. I just got tired of having these TV foofs
knocking me around.’’
“So how did you get out, man? Dig through the wall and crawl through five hundred
yards of @$%&-smelling foulness I can’t even imagine?’’
“Nah, the government finally gave up trying to get the memory card from us. I guess
the bad press they were getting for jailing two college students wasn’t worth
whatever evidence they were trying to get from our unused photos.’’
“Maybe,’’ Park said, implying just the opposite.
Just then there was the thumping sound of a man tapping a microphone for attention.
Steve looked up and saw the mayor’s press secretary. “Can I get you all to sit down?
The press conference will begin directly.’’
Steve turned back to say something to Park, but the photographer had already moved
and squirmed his way into the best position for camera angle and lighting. How did
he do it, Steve wondered. And when will I ever be that good?
State College president Cheney and Mayor Woodland strode to the podium together.
They gazed across the audience, exchanged nods and smiles with some of the reporters
and then looked at each other, awkwardly waiting for the other to go first. Woodland
finally spoke first and his expression turned serious.
“Thank you all for coming today. Before President Cheney and I begin our power point
presentation, I’ll give you a quick update on where we are on the riots. We’re still
pursuing leads but having received so little cooperation from possible witnesses . .
.. ’’ Woodland paused briefly to glare at Steve then resumed. “We’re also moving on.
President Cheney?’’
“As you all know,’’ Woodland said, taking his cue, “the neighborhood where the riots
took place has been a cancer for the university and the city for years. Rat-trap
houses that violate safety and health codes owned by unfeeling landlords who charge
students exorbitant rents. It’s a miracle more houses didn’t burn in the riot or
that someone wasn’t killed.
“But Mayor Woodland, the board of regents, the city council and myself have decided
to turn this to our advantage. Because the area has already been designated as a
‘blighted zone,’ we’re condemning the entire neighborhood and taking it over under
eminent domain. Come spring, everyone will have to move out so that we can make way
for a shopping mall and theme park that will re-invigorate the university district
and draw national attention to State College. Ladies and gentlemen, we give you
College World.’’
He and Woodland turned as the lights dimmed and an architectural rendering filled
the screen behind them. The drawing depicted broad, tree-lined streets filled with
shops and smiling, beautifully dressed students and professors enjoying a sunny day.
“College World will be a grand pedestrian mall,’’ Woodland said. “It will be lined
with coffee shops, independent movie houses, sandwich shops, pizza joints,
bookstores and bars. There will be Greek system-themed hotels for alumni to relive
their college days. We are already in discussions with numerous hotel chains about a
Delta Tau Hyatt or a Chi Omega Hilton.’’
“But College World will be more than that,’’ Cheney said. “It will be a model of
university life itself. Imagine grad students earning extra money by delivering
lectures in the simulated lecture halls. And picture the crowds of students
gathering to listen to speakers pontificating radical ideas from the College World
soapbox.’’
“Just not too radical,’’ the mayor added with a grin.
Another image filled the screen, this one of students in State College sweaters
cramming a phone booth on the corner and swallowing goldfish by the gallon.
“College World will recreate the college experience from every era, returning alumni
of all ages to the joys of their youth,’’ Cheney said. “For our alumni from the
sixties, we’ll have mock protests and sit-ins, marches and even police clubbing
heads with rubber billy clubs. Younger alumni can enjoy grunge concerts and evenings
wasted playing video games. And our more Anglo-phile alumni can enjoy punting on the
artificial stream running through College World.’’
The next image showed a coach who looked suspiciously like Jimmy Medici cutting down
a basketball net. “And best of all,’’ Woodland said, “In College World, State
College will always be national champion.’’
Woodland and Cheney looked out at the room of stunned reported and beamed.
“Questions?’’ Woodland asked.
Hands shot up among the reporters. Cheney called on Harold Telegraph from the
Journal-American.
“President Cheney, Mayor Woodland,’’ the reporter began, “forgive my skepticism but
don’t we have all that already on the Ave? “Isn’t your plan all so artificial? Isn’t
this just another example of the Disneyfication of real life?’’
“That is precisely what it is,’’ Cheney replied, grateful for the chance to
elaborate. “That is precisely the point. It will be Disneyland with fraternities,
college without the smoke shops. The No. 1 complaint that we get from students in
our surveys is that they expected college to be more ‘college-like.’ The No. 1
concern we hear from parents is fear that their children will get involved with
drugs and sex. College World addresses both concerns. It provides the two things
Americans desire most today -- certainty and control.
“College World will not replace the State College campus or the State College
experience – it will ADD to both. No longer will students be disappointed that their
college experience does not live up to their expectations. Parents need no longer
worry about sending their children off to school. College life will be controlled
and guaranteed. No more destructive, wild riots. No more fires other than the
nightly homecoming bonfire.’’
Flashbulbs popped and reporters scribbled furiously.
“Mr. Mayor?’’ a reporter asked. “You’ve only given us a rough idea of the location.
Where exactly will this be built?’’
“Between 15th and 22nd Avenue,’’ Woodland said. “And to maximize the construction
schedule and meet our ambitious deadline we’ll begin bulldozing in the spring. It
won’t be easy – some residents will have to be relocated to temporary housing in the
arboretum– but we think it will be worth it. Besides, I’ve visited some of those
houses. A nice tent in the park will be step up from many of those students.’’
“Sweet Jesus,’’ Steve said under his breath. All the houses between 15th and 22nd?
That included 24 College Avenue.
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