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Chapter 5: Halloween
 By Jim Caple |
Previously at 24 College Avenue: English major Josh Williams is entering his final senior year at State College. Jenn Robbins has been Bubby the Red Devils mascot for the past several years. She recently hit Golden State quarterback Simeon Hearst while driving her Bubby-Mobile cart during a routine at a game. Steve Hamilton is a photographer for the State College student newspaper, The Daily. Paul Fairhaven is a film student living in the house. Nicollette Mayle is a former State College sprinter who was caught taking steroids two summers ago (and whom Josh had a huge crush on). John Higgins is a former housemate who is a vice-president for Athena, the athletic apparel company with si gnificant influence in virtually every corner of the sports world. The housemates have been holding their annual Halloween party when three very ominous men arrive on the front porch looking for Nicollette . . .
Deciding the bed sheet needed several more holes, Josh reached for the scissors and began cutting. He was going to the 24 College Avenue annual Halloween party as Charlie Brown from “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown,’’ but rather than more holes what his costume needed most was for the sheet to actually be white rather than a light pink. Unfortunately, Josh still had a habit of washing all his laundry together to save money and the colors had run from his many Red Devils t-shirts.
He examined the sheet again and shrugged. The costume was as good as it was going to get. He tossed the sheet over his head and adjusted it. He opened the door to his third-floor bedroom and headed downstairs to the party, pausing on the second floor to knock on Jenn’s bedroom door.
“You joining us tonight?’’ he asked.
“In a little bit,’’ Jenn said from behind the door. “Probably. Maybe.’’
“Well, we would love to see you,’’ Josh said.
He started down the stairs to the main floor. He worried about Jenn, who had been withdrawn ever since the accident with the Golden State quarterback several games back. He hoped she came down to the party and relaxed a bit.
Josh reflected on how much had happened since Jenn first invited him to move into the century-old Victorian two years earlier following the disastrous Fetish Party (see Chapters 1-5 of the first 24 College series). He had made lifelong friends, developed an enormous crush on Nicollette, run across a secret campus society, toured Europe as a guide, met and fallen in love with a woman from Prague, lost his virginity with her, broken up with her, led another tour group across America and returned for a third year at the house. He felt he had matured immensely in the past two years, growing from an insecure and naïve college student to a confident, world-wise adult.
“All right, lose-oids!’’ Josh shouted at the base of the staircase, “Who’s ready to take on the undefeated and No. 1-ranked Beer Pong champion?’’
His concentration broken by the sudden outburst, Steve, dressed as Captain Jack Sparrow, overshot his clinching shot, the ping pong ball missing the table completely. “Thanks a lot, @&%$,’’ he griped to Josh. “I was going to win with that shot.’’
“What are you, Tiger Woods?’’ Josh replied. “If you need total silence, you’re in the wrong sport.’’
Someone in Harry Potter costume sank the next shot from the other side of the table to win the match. As Steve bitterly drank the final beer, Harry Potter challenged Josh to the next game.
“If you think you’re so hot, Charlie Brown, why don’t you put your money where your mouth is?’’ he said. “Twenty bucks. Let’s go.’’
Josh looked toward Steve, who nodded back to indicate that Harry Potter was no match for Josh. After two years worth of beer pong in the house, Steve didn’t know of anyone who could match Josh as the game.
Sure enough, despite not removing the bed sheet, it took Josh exactly six shots to defeat Harry Potter and his last shot didn’t even touch the rim of the red plastic cup. Harry drank the final beer, reluctantly paid up the money and retreated to the living room to hit on some women.
“You are the best my man,’’ Steve said, slapping hands with Josh. “Which reminds me -- there really is going to be a beer pong championship. Athena and Six-Pack Beer are sponsoring it. We just got a pres release in the office today. They’re going to hold a series of preliminary rounds on campuses all around the country thus winter and the winners will meet in a huge tournament next spring.’’
“You’re joking.’’
“No, I’m not. And the best part is there’s a $10,000 prize for the winner.’’
A huge grin spread across Josh’s face. Ten thousand dollars? That would go a long way to paying off his student loans when he graduated in the spring. Plus the honor of being crowned national beer pong champion? Could there be a better way to finish up his college career? And to think that his parents had complained during their last phone call that he had been wasting his time in school.
“Guess that means only one thing,’’ Josh said, grabbing a cup of beer. “Time to start training.’’ Steve toasted him with a scotch, a drink the photographer had taken up during his internship with the New York Journal-American when he had been told it was the official booze of all serious journalists.
A sudden banging at the door, loud enough to be heard above the music playing, interrupted their drinking. “Just come on in,’’ Josh shouted toward the front porch. “Everyone’s invited.’’ But whoever it was either couldn’t hear or didn’t care. The pounding continued.
Josh sighed and made his way through the living room to the front door, noticing that the Harry Potter character was now dry-hump dancing with Hannah Montana. It was disgusting, like a pre-teen porn movie. He threaded his way past a Transformer, the Burger King, a sex kitten and three cavemen reached the front door. The pounding was louder than ever as he reached for the door knob.
“All right already,’’ he said. “Hold your horses.’’
He opened the door and saw a police officer and two powerfully built men dressed in severe black suits. They all looked very serious, bordering on angry.
“We’re here for Nicollette Mayle,’’ the police officer said.
# # #
Josh paced outside Nicollette’s bedroom door, growing more agitated with every passing minute.
“Something isn’t right about this,’’ he said to his housemates, Steve and Paul Fairhaven. “I never should have let those guys in. I should have made them show some identification first.’’
“Badges? We ain’t got no badges!’’ Fairhaven said. “We don’t need no badges! We don’t have to show you no stinking badges!’’ (1)
Josh shot Fairhaven a glare and the film student smiled awkwardly. Fairhaven realized how his habit of speaking only in movie quotes got on people’s nerves when they were upset. He just couldn’t help it.
“But Josh, you didn’t let them in,’’ Steve said. “When they said they were here for Nicollette, you called her in from the party and she came over and recognized them. She’s the one who said they could come in.’’
“But did you see how upset she was? It was clear she didn’t want those guys inside the house. And I sure as hell don’t like the way they insisted on talking to her in private and slammed the door shut when she went in to the bedroom.’’
“She’s a big girl, Josh. I’m pretty sure she can handle herself.’’
“Maybe.’’
Josh looked back to the bedroom dorm, where Fairhaven was trying to peer through the keyhole. The door likely had been there since the house was first used as a boarding house nearly a century earlier.
“Fairhaven,’’ Josh whispered, “Get the hell away from there. . . . Wait, do you see anything?’’
“I see dead people.’’ (2)
“I swear to God, Fairhaven, if you don’t knock off that movie quote @#&$ I’m going to punch you in the face!’’
Josh balled up his fist and took a couple steps toward Fairhaven when a shout from behind the door stopped him.
“You goddamn vampires!’’
It was Nicollette. Reacting quickly, Josh shoved open her door and discovered an appalling sight. Nicollette was laying on her bed, still dressed in her costume as Elvis, while the two men in black leaned over her and drew blood with a syringe. The police officer was sitting at her desk and writing on a clipboard. He looked over to Josh and grimaced, revealing two enormous fangs.
“What the hell is going on here?’’ Josh shouted.
“You are too late,’’ Fairhaven said. “My blood now flows through her veins. She will live through the centuries to come, as I have lived.’’ (3)
“You must leave,’ the police officer said, rising from his chair and hurrying to close the door. He shoved Josh, Steve and Fairhaven toward the hallway.
Josh placed his foot by the door jam and forced the door back open a few inches. “I’m not leaving you bloodsuckers in here with Nicollette!’’
“Oh, Josh, quick being so damn melodramatic,’’ Nicollette said, rolling over onto her left elbow. She motioned to the police officer. “Let him in and I’ll explain.’’
The police officer began to protest, then thought better of it and relented. Reluctantly, he let Josh, Steve and Fairhaven into the bedroom. They rushed to the bed just as a man in black finished drawing blood from Nicollette. He removed the syringe and carefully labeled the vial of blood while the other delicately taped a cotton swab to Nicollette’s arm.
“Josh, these are testing agents from WASP, the World Anti-Steroid Police,’’ Nicollette said. “They’re here to perform one of my mandatory, random blood tests. It’s part of the program I agreed to when Athena set up the ‘Born Again’ campaign. They’re in addition to the daily urine samples I have to provide.’’
“Born Again’’ was a campaign dreamed up by Higgins after Nicollette finally admitted that she had indeed given into temptation and taken steroids while training for an important meet. The campaign centered around Nicollette’s pledge to compete for a spot on the Olympic team without taking any banned performance enhancers. She provided a daily video blog of her progress as well as evidence of her mandatory drug tests.
“But why does that police officer have fangs?’’
“Fangs?’’ Nicollette said. She turned to the police officer who looked back sheepishly.
“My bad,’’ the officer said. “But it’s Halloween and after this, I’m going to a costume party. I’m not really a police officer, just another WASP agent. I’m going to the party as a vampire and I don’t have time to go home first so I was just double-checking how my fangs fit.’’ He removed the fangs and offered them toward Josh. “See? They’re fake.’’
Disgusted at the sight of slobber over the fangs, Josh turned back to Nicollette. “So you know these guys?’’
“Yes, Josh,’’ Nicollette said impatiently. “I generally don’t let strange men into my bedroom and draw my blood unless I’m pretty sure who they are. They’ve been here twice before to test me. You just weren’t here.’’
“A census taker once tried to test me,’’ Fairhaven said. “I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti’’ (4)
“Ahem.’’
It was one of the WASP agents.
“I hate to be rude, but these tests are supposed to be done privately. So if you’ll excuse us, we’d like to finish up.’’ He pointed to the door.
The housemates gave Nicollette an embarrassed wave good-bye and slipped back to the door. “See you later at the party?’’ Josh said, his right hand on the doorknob.
“OUT!’’ Nicollette ordered.
The three left and the door slammed behind them. Thank God, Nicollette thought. It was bad enough having to prove your innocence everyday with daily urine tests and the occasional blood test. And then to have to document it all on a video blog? And to have her housemates walk in and see her going through it all? There were times when she seriously wondered whether it was all worth it. Especially since the media was either ridiculing the campaign or ignoring it entirely. As far as she knew, the only people actually checking her blog every day were lurkballs hoping to see her in her underwear again (fat chance).
“That about does it,’’ the lead WASP agent said as he packed up his test kit. “We’ll get the results to you and then see you again in a couple weeks. Or maybe earlier. Whenever it’s most inconvenient, I’m sure.’’
He meant the last line as a joke but Nicollette didn’t smile. “Can you find your way out?’’ she asked.
They nodded and left. Only after she heard the door click close behind them followed by the sound of them descending the stairs to the first floor did she finally allow herself to cry.
She didn’t cry long. For one thing, Nicollette was more of a curser than a crier. More importantly though, she was stopped by an anguished cry from Jenn’s room.
Next: Legal Hell
What movie lines did Paul Fairhaven quote this chapter? Here they are:
(1) Gold Hat in "Treasure of the Sierra Madre''
(2) Cole in "The Sixth Sense''
(3) Dracula in "Dracula''
(4) Hannibal Lecter in "Silence of the Lambs''
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